The current AARP publication has an article titled “Moving Mom and Dad” located between “Sexy Secrets of Super-Hot Men” and “J.R. Ewing is Back!” The article makes the point that repetition is a key to an accomplished skill, but unfortunately sometimes we are lucky if we even get a second chance in life to do something. And no, those points were not made with regard to Sexy Secrets or J.R.’s comeback. But the reality is that moving Mom and Dad is not a sexy process, and the pitfalls can seem mistifying. Unlike the comeback of J.R. and Dallas, most of us only get one chance.
Are you are beginning to ask yourself questions like Is it time? or What if they don’t want to move? or Where can they afford to go? or How can I tell the difference between one facility and another? If so, you are not alone. As our parents live longer, “the unwelcomed move” becomes increasingly likely. While the dreaded experience is somewhat common, the solutions are not. What worked for your co-workers might not work for you. That’s why you need expert help.
A Place For Mom has catchy TV ads that promise that they can make the process of moving Mom (and/or Dad) free and easy for you. What the ads don’t tell you is that they are commissioned by the facility to which they refer Mom. Don’t you think their advice about “what’s best for you” might be influenced by who pays them and how much they can get paid by various facilities? They also do not disclose that in most instances their consultants are not trained as geriatric social workers, they cannot offer legal advice, and they lack skills to help you understand your big picture financially and how government benefits you don’t even know about might be part of it. But their services are free. If you pay nothing, you can expect to get what you pay for, but you also are missing out on opportunities on how to make the best of what for most of us is a one time experience.
A better option is to work with a team who truly does represent Mom and Dad and includes an attorney, elder care professional who has a credible relationship with all of your facility options, and a government benefits expert. Let that team earn their fee by helping you understand government benefits, and getting Mom and Dad’s estate planning done correctly while they have capacity so that you can minimize taxes and hassles later. We have that kind of team under one roof at Keystone Elder Law. Please check us out and see how we can help. We aren’t free and we don’t offer sexy secrets, but we can help you and your parents!
By the way, isn’t it about time for J.R. and Sue Ellen to make their move to a Continuing Care Retirement Community?